Friday September 27, 2013. As I woke up yesterday there was but one thing on my mind. That day should be filled with pain sadness, and lots and lots of tears. Yet after a few moments of sitting on the edge of the bed and thinking, there were no tears, there was no new or greater sadness. There was no new pain, yet a desire to jump, shout and scream at the top of my lungs.
I held back as my neighbors would have most likely called the police. (lol)
Ten years ago on a similar morning, I woke up and heard my mother say: “Ten cuiadado muchacho”, which is de careful boy. The problem was that I was 350 miles away from my mom was at that moment. I was in fear of hearing her voice so clearly that morning. About 10 min later the phone rang, and a nurse from New York University hospital came on the line and said: Mr Fraden, your mother’s heart rate has dropped to 16, as per your family we wanted to make sure you wish to not have anything else done.
Answering that question seemed so hard, so difficult. Yet today I realize it has only become harder on me today. I can’t be sad, mad at the events that led up too that. But I guess mom just knew how to push all the right buttons. You see after all her kids were done with school, or at least we thought we were. She went back to school, first to learn English, then to study and become a Registered Lab Tech.
Was there any quit in this woman? arthritis in her body stopped her from living with pain each day. And like that she walked to take a bus, and two trains to get to work each day.
So on this the tenth anniversary of my Mom going to rest in the hands of Almighty God. I will celebrate in the only way that would make mom proud. I will enroll back in school, start a new career process, and drive myself to complete it.
i will celebrate MOM with each breath, and each step. And hope that I can make her proud.
Celebrate with me, the tears just didn’t fit in her life, and they will be gone from mine now.
I dont want to shake your hand, I want to give you a hug. Dios te bendiga.